You don’t truly love yourself.
It prevents you from being fully immersed in life, and from deeply loving others.
You harbour great shame, disgust and hatred for parts of yourself.
You beat yourself to a pulp in challenging times, and then kick yourself while you’re down.
That is no way to live!
It’s a waste of a life — a waste of you!
To live serenely, you have to dig deep within, wind back the clock, and uncover the real reason you don’t love yourself.
Oh, how far you’ve fallen
“The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.” — Minquass Proverb.
You were once a child.
A child who was pure, perfect and beautiful in every way — like a sheet of perfect, white Egyptian cotton.
If you were told a story of a wise King who knelt and gave to the beggar — you pictured yourself as the King.
You were born with immense self-love and respect. No baby feels self-loathing, shame or ridicule.
Those are taught traits.
But by the traumatic negative experiences in your life, it slowly withers away.
Because if you’re anything like me, you’ve betrayed those close to you, you’ve hurt people, you’ve made mistakes — and those memories stick with you.
They haunt you.
You’re no longer a white sheet. You’re stained brown by shameful moments of the past — the evil you’ve committed, the people you’ve hurt, and how you’ve failed.
The acts of treason, betrayal and let-down have become a part of you. You accept yourself as the villain, as the failure.
And now when you’re told the story of the King — you see yourself as the beggar.
But you’re wrong.
You’re still the King, and you’re still the sheet of Egyptian cotton — albeit a bit stained.
You don’t love yourself because you haven’t been forgiven.
You try to repent, but you’ve got it all wrong.
It was never about repenting and asking for forgiveness.
Asking who? Asking what?
It’s much deeper than that — so listen closely.
Time travelling, and the 4th dimension
“Where there is forgiveness, there God resides.”
— Guru Granth Sahib
As I sat on Stan’s prayer chair, he spoke to me about self-love.
“Go back to every moment that you made a mistake, where you felt there was no way out, and tell that little boy,
‘It’s alright, you’re alright, and it’s going to be ok — you’re forgiven.’ “
And as you return to that moment in your mind, you extend a hand to your past self.
You forgive yourself, the only person who can make a difference.
And who knows, maybe going back to forgive your past self is the very same force that got you through those tough times.
Because maybe time isn’t linear — maybe there’s more to it than we understand.
But when you revisit those traumatic memories and tell that little kid that it’s ok — you heal the hole in your soul.
And slowly but surely, you patch up each hole, and you remove each stain.
Because the stain was never real, it was only perceived.
Forgive yourself, because that’s what love is
“If we really want to love we must learn how to forgive.”
— Mother Teresa
Would loathing and disappointment in a person result in a feeling of love for them?
Love requires compassion, forgiveness and acceptance.
And self-love requires all the same qualities.
If you want to be capable of a life where you can thrive, be of service to others, love others and experience serenity — you have to love yourself.
You have to:
- Be there for your past self in all the moments you’re ashamed of and tell that child it’s ok.
- Have compassion for yourself — you’re only human. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made.
Forgiveness from others will soothe the ego momentarily, but forgiveness from yourself will heal your soul forever.
Only when you wind back the clock and heal your relationship with your past self will you be on the path to self-love.
Thank you for reading!
I’m Eren and I use stories from experiences in my life to explain self-improvement — and how you can change your life but just changing your thoughts.
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